i'm really going crazy here.

by now i should be oggling at other guys.

but after so long my heart still points to you, stubbornly.

whenever i read my diary entries all over again my heart beats irregularly.

i thought i forgot you completely. but i didn't.

but actually i'm not suffering as much as last time. it's just that...

my heart is still holding on to the last bit of hope. haha.





but i want you to take it away from me.

it's painful.

you have your own person, i have (to have) my own person. don't we?

if not, what can you do for me?

will you tell me you love me? will you hug me quietly from the back? can you hold my hand and

walk like lovers? can you make me smile like you did in the old times?







...i guess not, right? that's why you are still like that now. coward. stupid. crazy.

no, I'M the crazy one here. you look like you have returned to your normal life already.

and that means i'm the one who stupidly lingers with the past.

i don't want to do that but i can't help thinking you would suddenly tell me that you love me,

you would suddenly hug me, and suddenly hold my hand.

i can't stop my heart from keeping the last strand of hope.

if i had 1% of hope today it would be 2% the next day, not 0.5%.







you know what? to stop this stupid feeling,

and to not get hurt,

just tell me hurtful things.

that way i think i can forget you a little more easily.

you get me? just say you HATE me.

a little bit of tears is not gonna kill.