. @ 1:57 PM
still cannot sleep.
i'm surely gonna doze off at church 2moro.
and WHY CAN'T I SLEEP??
this is R I D I C U L O U S.
this is the third or fourth time i can't sleep AT ALL.
with so much thinking
HOW CAN I SLEEP?
and our memories are quite fun to look back.
i didn't appreciate enough that time.
i want to turn back the time to the beginning of the year
so that i would appreciate every moment.
but i don't regret what i have done
because I'M the brave one.
can't stand cowards.
it wouldn't matter anyway
coz my heart is almost going to slow down to a stop.
and freeze there until someone warms it again.
there are some who will do that for me
but i just don't feel like accepting their hands.
maybe i'm still hoping for some miracle.
i don't know how i came to believe this bullshit.
miracle doesn't happen much.
it's possibility of lesser than 1%.
and of course, it wouldn't include me.
i just know it.
it's time to give up man.
go and fall asleep forever.
and wake up when your prince comes and kiss softly on your lips.
fairy tale shit.
but i wanna believe it.
coz at least it has higher chance that miracle.
goodbye, my last strand of hope.
don't ever return to me.
it's not helping at all.
i would be better alone.
don't pain us anymore.
make my eyes turn to someone else.
make someone else to turn my eyes.
renovate my heart completely
before it breaks down.
too old and creaky.
it's been bleeding too much.
cure it.
i don't mind it even if it takes quite long.
just make sure...
NOTHING IS LEFT.
no speck of memory
or feeling in my heart.
just suck out every single thing
from my heart.
